Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
