I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
