we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
