Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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