Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
