oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
