stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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