I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
