Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Life is so much better after having sex.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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