he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
