He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
