There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
