she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
