The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
