so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize