She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
