im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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