so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
