fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
