You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize