dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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