I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
