have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
