It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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