like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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