I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
