the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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