HIV tests are more positive than that guy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
