So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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