She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
