KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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