Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
