I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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