i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
