it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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