this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
