Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
