I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
