I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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