So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
