It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
