well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
