You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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