You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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