They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
