i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
