well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
