i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
