She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
