I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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