I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
