puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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