sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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