i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
