are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
