im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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