i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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