he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
