is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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