Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
