i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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