That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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