i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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