I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
