I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
