im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
