Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
