I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
