I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
